


The Devil is in the Idioms

by Antarctic_Echoes



Series: Luciferian Fics (One shots) [4]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Idiom tag-team, lots of idioms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 17:55:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8456185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antarctic_Echoes/pseuds/Antarctic_Echoes
Summary: Chloe and Dan overwhelm Lucifer with idioms about the Devil.  Very short, quick one scene one-shot.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ScooterThyme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScooterThyme/gifts).



> This is in response to a fun idiom prompt generated by ScooterThyme! They ended up being Devil idioms, not Hell idioms, but... oh well. It's just a scene, not a full story, but I hope you enjoy it anyway!
> 
> A very big thank you to my excellent beta, ScooterThyme! You rock!! And you come up with great prompts, too!
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker and Dan Espinoza are owned by Vertigo Comics, DC Comics, Neil Gaiman, Mike Carey, and everyone else involved with the Lucifer TV show and comic books. I own nothing and make no money on this. I merely am borrowing the characters for... uh... writing practice.

 

 

Lucifer Morningstar sat across from his partner, Chloe Decker, and frowned as he watched her type up her report into the computer.

“Come on, Detective, surely we have a new case?”

“No.  I have to finish this report, or else I’ll have a devil of a time with the Lieutenant,” Chloe said, not looking up.

Lucifer’s eyebrows furrowed.  “And what does that mean, ‘a devil of a time’?  I mean, think about it, Detective.  Why is it a devil of a time? Why not a devil of time?  Or the Devil of time, since there’s only one me?  Of course, I don’t have anything to do with time, but still --”

“Lucifer,” Chloe interrupted with a glare.  “I don’t have time for this.  There will be hell to pay if I don’t get this done.”

The Devil frowned.  “See, and... there’s that.  Hell to pay?  You can’t pay Hell.  It’s a place, not a person.  Hell is just... Hell.  Now you can pay _me,_ but --”

“There _is_ the expression, ‘there will be the devil to pay,’” Dan said as he walked up and threw more files on Chloe’s desk.  “The Lieutenant says some of the data got jumbled in the new computer system.  These have to be re-entered.”

“Seriously?!”  The blonde detective buried her head in her hands.  “The devil is always in the details....”

Lucifer started getting frustrated.  “See?  Now what does that mean?!”  He leaned forward as he started getting warmed up.  “I mean, I’m here!  I’m not in any kind of details!  I didn’t even have anything to do with your bloody reports!”

Dan chuckled.  “Well, the devil finds work for idle hands.”

“I do not find work for idle hands!  I have nothing to do with the hands of humans!”   Lucifer suddenly grinned lasciviously.  “Unless they are caressing my body --”

“Well, there’s no accounting for taste,” the other man muttered.  “But I guess better the devil you know than the devil you don’t....”

“But what does that _mean?!_  There’s only one devil, and that’s me!   How can you know me and yet not know me? That makes no sense!”

Chloe started laughing.  “Well, I suppose it’s like being caught between the devil and the deep blue sea....”

Lucifer let out a strangled cry.  “That could be anywhere between here and the Pacific Ocean!  Or worse yet, between here and the Atlantic Ocean!  It makes no sense!”

“Well, we’re just playing devil’s advocate with you,” Dan said, trying to keep a straight face but failing.

Lucifer glared at the other man.  “Look, Detective Douche, I don’t mind having an advocate, but you certainly don’t fit the bill!”

“So you want me to go to the devil?” he teased, which just got a groan from Chloe and more frustration from Lucifer.

“Why do I want you to go to the Devil when I’m right here in front of you?!” he howled.

“Well, he who sups with the Devil should have a long spoon,” Chloe chimed in.

“Why?!  Bloody hell, I don’t understand!  If you have a long spoon, how are you supposed to eat?!” Lucifer cried, looking ready to tear out his hair.

“Oh come on, Chloe....  The Devil is not as black as he is painted!” Dan said, ignoring Lucifer.

“I’m not painted black, you sod!” the fallen angel cried.  “Why is no one listening to me?  Your bloody phrases don’t make any sense!”

“Look, Lucifer, you’re just raising the devil over nothing,” Chloe said.

“But -- I don’t understand --” he sputtered.  “How can you raise me over nothing?  Are you going to lift me on your shoulders, or suspend me somehow over nothing, or do some bloody nonsense such as that?”

Chloe sighed and smiled patiently.  “Come on, Lucifer, just let it go.  I really have to get working.  An idle brain is the devil’s workshop, you know.”  At that, she and Dan both started giggling.

“Bloody hell, that’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard.  Why would I want to get into a brain, of all places, to do my work?  One can’t even _fit_ into a brain.  That’s just silly!” he groused.  “You’re both mad, you know that?  I’m leaving.”

Both detectives chuckled loudly as the Devil left the room.

“Well, we did a good job of getting rid of him,” Dan said after he caught his breath.

“Needs must when the devil drives!” Chloe said triumphantly, before they both dissolved into laughter once again.


End file.
